It's Valentine's Day. Lucky stiff. I bet there's no day named after you !
But who is this Valentine who sends people into paroxysms of Hallmark handing, bouquet buying, gift giving and dinner dating ? What is his age and gender ? And height and weight ? What are his hobbies ? What is his favorite color ? Red , I'm guessing. What does he do on weekends and what are his politics ?
What are his views on the financial crisis and should they matter ? Did he lie to his mother as a child? Did his father frequently spank his bottom and has that altered his psyche? How does he conduct himself in a crowded elevator : does he look up or down ? Where does he stand on Global Warming ?
Nobody knows. You can't think of many other people we know so little about who have had days named after them - reassuringly tiny, note, as that number already is.
Take St. Patrick. No , hang on. Don't take St. Patrick. Because you don't anyway. I mean, know anybody who is moved to sweet nothings on account of St.P ? Or to wear bright red shirts ? Or to hang up bright red hearts on their walls ?
Unlike many other famous people though, I don't think there are things like airports, train stations , streets and localities named after Valentine.Nor are there any Valentine postage stamps.
That's smart planning. I mean, picture this at a post office :
Mailman 1 (wincing) : "Where's that - ugh- red heart stamp going ?"
Mailman 2 : " To my dustbin" (tosses package to bin)
