Monday, June 16, 2014

Pater Pan / Father's Day

Today's Father's Day. Or is it tomorrow ? Seeing as how there's a do at my kid's school the day after tomorrow, it may well be then. Of course it might even be on all three days. Or it could have been yesterday possibly. Who knows ? 

See,it's hard to tell with these things. There's only one person in the world who knows : one's dad, of course. And if one's dad knows about it , could one's mom be far behind ? 

No, she could not ! 

Now you know why there's also a Mother's Day.

Now some say every day is fit to be Father's Day.Clearly marketers haven't heard that one or it'd be Father's Day all year round. And if it is Father's Day all year round could Mother's Day all year round be very far behind ? 

No, it could not ! 

So every day would be Father's Day and it would also be Mother's Day. Can you imagine the abundance of love and gratitude and appreciation and bickering that'd bring ? 

FATHER : " It's my day"
MOTHER : " The hell it is. It's mine ! "
CHILD : " Oh please , mom, dad. You're embarrassing me."
FATHER & MOTHER : " Get the hell out of here, pest !"
CHILD: " But I got you cards !"
FATHER : " I chucked it in the trash" 
MOTHER : " I, er, misplaced mine."
CHILD : " Waaaahhhh"
MOTHER : " Now don't ruin my day, kid."
FATHER : " Your day ? Overbearing shrew !"
MOTHER : " Asshole."
CHILD : "Waaaahhhh"

Pretty it ain't.

Which is why we can be glad there's only one Father's Day. 

Question is : when is it ? Today ? Tomorrow ? The day after ? Heck, yesterday ? 

Now I know I said one's dad knew. But mine ? Mine jolly well doesn't. I mean, rule it out man ! For one, he's a bit hard of hearing. For another, he'd be gobsmacked. You see every day was Father's Day for him and it consisted almost entirely of receiving a few of the juiciest on the seat of his pants from his daddy.And I'll be blown if he went around writing words of love, gratitude and appreciation for his pains. 

Happy Father's Day. When is it ?