Nazi party headquarters in the newly captured Vienna. High powered conference on. The generals hold animated policy discussions.
General 1 : This Anshluss is Herr Furher's gift to the Fatherland
General 2 : My own father would have preferred beer .....
General 3 : We'll shower our people and all of humanity with love.
General 4 : We'll gift chocolates and Danke cards to all in peace.
General 5 : Our checkposts will hand out red roses with a smile.
General 1 : But achtung ! What of the environment ? And global warming ?
General 2 : And what of poverty ,malnutrition and disease in the Third World ?
General 3 : Ja ! Herr Furher is worrying himself sick over those issues
General 4: We must solve them !
General 5 : And soon !
All : But how ?
How do you solve the problem of malaria ?
How do you treat a crowd when they're trodden so down ?
How do you heal malnourished victims of diarrhea ?
With a whaddyacallit ? A whatchyamightcallit ? A noun . . . ?
How do you catch carbon emissions and pin them down ?
How do you find a word that means organic farming ?
In a dictionary ! A dictionary ! A good dictionary in town !
Then silence again - until inspiration strikes.
General 1 : I know how ! We put Captain von Trapp in charge ! He will vanquish pollution and poverty with a blitzkrieg of song
General 2 : He'll sing sweetly to the poor and the sick until they are healed
General 3 : Yes , after all "if music be the food of love , play on"
General 4 : Eh ? What ? What ?
General 3 : That was Shakespeare .
General 4 : Oh i see . Did they starve him in Auschwitz ?
General 3 : Not sure - but we need the sound of music around here.
General 5 (slight dismay) : The Sound Of Music ? But the fraulein dragged me along to watch it last year and i hated the movie !
General 2 : Who cares about that !
All : Ja, who cares ! General von Trapp it is - so finally , we have found some use for his infernal singing and for his flowery verse
General 5 (Secret Aside) : Mein Gott ! it couldn't get verse than ze Sound Of Music
(to be continued)
