The Beatles !
What can you say about them ?
They were the Fab Four !
There were four of them !
All four of them were from Liverpool !
Liverpool’s in England !
The Beatles were English !
They also did a couple of songs in German !
That’s because they did a stint in Hamburg , Germany !
They played nightclubs in Hamburg , Germany !
We don’t know what they did during the day in Hamburg , Germany !
Probably prepared to be famous !
At the time they recorded a very sissy song called My Bonnie !
I am glad it wasn’t my Bonnie !
John Lennon was photographed wearing a toilet seat around his neck !
Some neck !
Some band !
Then Brian Epstein came along !
The band was turned down by Decca Records !
The band was not turned down by EMI Records !
At first The Beatles wore suits !
Later they stopped wearing suits !
Brian Epstein died !
Of drug overdose !
Not because The Beatles had stopped wearing suits !
The Beatles slapped legal suits on one another !
I once got slapped !
In 1964 , The Beatles toured America for the first time !
In 1964 , The Beatles conquered America !
In 1914 , pizzas conquered America !
In 1964 , The Beatles starred in A Hard Day’s Night !
If you care about scripts and plots , it’s a hard day’s watch !
It was made by Richard Lester !
Poor Richard !
In 1965 , The Beatles starred in Help !
If you care about scripts and plots , you’d cry for help !
Poor you !
In 1965 , The Beatles released Rubber Soul !
In 1966, The Beatles released Revolver !
I like !
In 1966 , John Lennon said they were more popular than Jesus Christ !
The Ku Klux Klan didn’t like !
The Ku Klux Klan burnt their records !
They didn’t care much for Revolver !
Except when it came to shooting colored people !
The Ku Klux Klan really enjoyed shooting colored people !
But Revolver the album meant nothing to them ! They probably preferred Love Me Do !
Ku Klux Klan - ya fucking racist sissies!
With lousy dress sense to boot !
What the heck do you wear – bed sheets !
In 1967 , The Beatles released Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band !
In 1967 , butter was discovered , margarine invented and cheese given rights !
1n 1968 , The Beatles released The White Album !
It had a song called I Tamed The Deviant Platypus !
In 1968 , The Beatles cartooned in Yellow Submarine !
In 1968 , The Beatles ate their dinner !
In 1969 , The Beatles released Let It Be and Abbey Road !
In 1969 , Neil Armstrong landed on the moon !
The Beatles had nothing to do with it !
Neil Armstrong had nothing to do with Louis Armstrong or Lance Armstrong !
In 1970 , The Beatles broke up !
Their fans broke down !
The Beatles had taken the world by storm !
If they were around today , they’d be called Katrina !
Girls swooned and fainted !
Boys shouted !
Yeah ! Shouted !
Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah !
The Beatles got MBE’s from the Queen !
I know someone who has an MBA !
But not from the Queen !
Then The Beatles stopped touring !
They produced some great music in the studio !
They produced some great music in the studio !
This blog is named after one of those songs !
The Beatles floated a company called Apple !
This blog is not named after it !
The Beatles were too stoned to run Apple !
Apple sank !
Now you know why the Queen didn’t give them MBA’s!
Silly hippies !
John Lennon tragically lost his mother !
He wrote a song called Mother !
(But that was much later !)
Paul McCartney tragically wrote a song called Yesterday !
We’re waiting for a song called Tomorrow !
George Harrison was into India and Hinduism !
He was also into Patti Boyd !
Before Eric Clapton got into Patti Boyd !
(But that was a bit later !)
George Harrison wrote songs like Something and While My Guitar Gently Weeps !
His guitar was probably weeping because it was Clapton that played the solo !
George Harrison wrote a song called My Sweet Lord !
My Sweet Lord hasn’t commented on it !
George Harrison named too many Sweet Lords in that song !
It should have been called My Sweet Lords !
They couldn’t figure out which Sweet Lord he was talking to!
Was it Ringo !
Ringo tragically lost all drum sense before he was born !
He wrote a song called Octopus’s Garden !
I ’d really love to listen to it loud in my garden !
If I had a garden !
I’d water the plants every day !
And talk to them !
Paul McCartney hooked up with Linda Eastman !
She became Linda McCartney !
Poor Linda!
John Lennon had his Kodak moment with Yoko Ono !
He became John Ono Lennon !
They formed The Plastic Ono Band !
With Klaus Voorman on bass !
Klaus was a friend from the Hamburg days !
John Lennon underwent Primal Scream therapy from scratch !
The first POB album underwent primal screams from John Lennon !
Poor first POB album !
Paul McCartney formed The Wings !
Danny Lane , ex-Moody Blues , played lead !
Linda ostensibly played keyboards !
John Lennon said Paul McCartney played muzak!
Poor Paul !
George Harrison did a concert for Bangladesh !
Bangladesh never did a concert for George Harrison !
Poor George !
Ringo Starr acted in a few movies !
He set his time machine to 1965 and sang a song called Act Naturally !
The machine was easy to set as it didn’t involve any drumming !
The song was easy to sing as it didn’t involve much singing !
Poor Ringo !
John Lennon wrote a hit called Imagine !
It said Imagine no possession !
The sacrifice it took to write !
Cramped in his 70 acre mansion in Ascot , England !
Poor John !
And so !
The Beatles !
What can you say about them !
This post would never have been !
But for The Beatles !
Rock and Roll would have never been !
But for The Beatles !
The Great Wall Of China would never have been !
But for The Beatles !
The Not-So-Great Wall from Pink Floyd would never have been !
But for The Beatles !
Ptolemy , Plato , the Disney dog Pluto , the dialect Pushto , the nonsensical and utterly nonexistent word Plarishmoxtain and the character Penny Lane in Almost Famous would never have been !
But for The Beatles !
Ladies and gentlemen !
The Beatles !
Yes !
The Beatles !
I have a special Beatles quiz for you !
Here’s the question !
How do you spell ‘The Beatles’ ?
Beatles your answers to The Beatles !
For a chance to win exciting Beatles-based Beatles !
Ten main Beatles and Fifty consolation Beatles on offer ! (*)
But hurry !
Beatles limited !
(*) Contest not open to Beatles relatives. Winners determined by draw of parking lots. Beatles apply.
