Doctor , I think I have Midlife !

One way or another, midlife isn't all it's cracked out to be.It's probably not as bad as they say it is. Or it's possibly worse. Who can tell ? You're not cocksure about anything anymore. 

Not that that stops you from spouting philosophy anyway.

Somebody says a casual Hi How Are You and you're quite prone to go : " Life is short. And beautiful. I'm enjoying each day" or something like that. If the stars happen to be really aligned against your popularity, you may also add something about your chronic tummy ache.     

Thing is, after the doctor has ruled out cancer of around twenty different organs, has assured you the chest pains are from coffee and cigarettes and pretty much shouted out the fact that you are not diabetic and after you have then spent several late nights on WebMD, you discover that hypochondria is incurable. 

The other problem is that people are constantly telling you how much you now resemble your dad. I love my father to a fault - great guy! - but can't people say George Clooney or something for once?  

Lunch in a Lingerie Bag : The Inside Story

I started carrying homemade lunch to work around a year ago and have since reaped the weight loss benefits that go with it. I'm afraid , however ,the benefits stops there.

Now people - invariably men -  often ask how I could bear to be seen lugging a lunch box to work. That's easy. You don't care about such things by the time you are my age. Not even when you unwittingly end up carrying it in what turns out be a lingerie brand shopping bag (" A downmarket Victoria's Secret" giggling young colleagues inform me gleefully). Big deal !

No. Underwear , inexpensive or otherwise, is entirely inconsequential when you have to worry about what awaits you during the lunch break :  the flood of dourness, the squall of staidness, the blizzard of boredom, the apocalypse of dullness, the perfect storm of doom and destruction packed in plastic.

That's harsh, I know. The ladies who prepare my lunch are wonderful people and are very good cooks too otherwise. And to be fair, around half the time give or take - well, okay, more give ! -  their packed lunch is pretty good too.

No, it's more the philosophy of it, the feeling that life with all the promising bang of its fits and furies has come to an end in the whimper of chapattis and dal. This is how religions must have begun. Tied to a spouse, a house and a job is one thing, tied to a lunch source quite another. God is in the retail , the Good News on a menu , Nirvana in the promiscuity of food options. Lord , why have you forsaken me ? And also, Lord, why cauliflower again ?

Now excuse me while I go heat up today's. Rice and dal if you must know. Dessert : yogurt.

The absolute end.

Fashionably Never

The last time I wore skinny green pants, orange tee and spotless white leather sneakers the missus woke me up. Apparently I had been snoring. Phew ! Saved by apnea but I confess it still shook me. 

No, I have nothing against skinny green pants, orange tees  and spotless white leather sneakers. They'd look good on someone younger (and ,well,  perhaps female ?). It's the 45 year old boys wearing them that always makes me feel like it's late Sunday afternoon with a nasty Monday ahead, i.e. depressing - which makes it different from over-the-top entertaining that,say, a fish walking about on the beach in those clothes would make it.

I mean, why would you want to look like a rainbow ? Or 21 ? Have you forgotten how it was to be broke , stupid , awkward , clueless and - the difference between then and now - not knowing it ?

Hmm. Takes all sorts I suppose. Speaking for myself, I have never cottoned on to trends.  It has been a case not so much of being fashionably late as never. 

Food for Thought / The DisContent Revolution

It's all quite simple really. 

National Geographic People is about food, Travel Channel is about food and around half the other channels on TV are about food. The other half are news channels that are either hysterical or wrong with their poll forecasts or both. (The History Channel is a bit different though. It's easier to tell what it is not about - history - than what it is about.)  

The word 'Content' (yes, upper case C) is as ubiquitous as food shows on TV. You don't know where it came from but suddenly it is everywhere - including on this Piece of Content (upper case P again,yes). More than the internet or smartphones, the word 'Content' is the defining hallmark that really sets our era apart. I mean can you imagine people like Shakespeare using it ? 

The following conversation is as inconceivable as a TV channel not airing a food show :

" William , thy meat is ready, thou art awaited".
" Get thee gone ! I'm working on a Piece of Content" 

Or Gutenberg saying this : " My printing press will produce Content !" 

Or Goebbels holding this designation : 'Chief Content Officer - Third Reich' 

And so on. Doesn't stack up, does it.  

The really nasty bit of business though is when food and Content come together  too often  on TV.  

Don't get me wrong. I love food. I also enjoy food shows - up to a point. It's only when a grill and a basket of fresh ingredients pop into the scene moments into a show about a destination that Content turns into some serious discontent. 

Oh well. Happy new year anyway  ! Hope 2017 leaves you very content indeed. Lower case. Why, upper case too if that's your thing. 

And of course, thanks for Consuming this Piece of Content.