Sunday, February 14, 2010

My funny Valentine

It was Valentine’s day. Valentine woke up with a smile on his face for he knew the day was his. And he got out from the right side of the bed. Which was good as there was a wall on the left side of the bed. Valentine brushed his teeth as he always did on this day. Valentine had a hearty breakfast and it was very good. Valentine set out for work but his boss called to say he could take the day off as it was his day.
So Valentine hung around doing nothing for a while. That was a bit boring but then Valentine had a call from a film producer who said he was going to make a movie called “My name is Valentine” and the lead role would go to him. To Valentine, that is, not the producer. It was Valentine’s day after all, not the producer’s ! The locality hooligan said at first that he’d ban it – the film that is ,not the locality , though the hooligan wouldn’t have minded banning the locality too– but then the hooligan changed his mind as it was Valentine’s day after all.
Valentine received several cards that said Happy You Day. These Valentine replied with very gracious Thank You And The Same To Me notes . Valentine made a few investments and they instantly produced very happy returns. All this made Valentine very happy. They’d have made you very happy too if only you’d taken a few investment tips from Valentine. Don’t you just wish you’d taken a few investment tips from Valentine ?
All in all Valentine had a splendid day. At the end of it , Valentine penned down a couple of poems – on the occasion of Valentine’s day of course. They went like this :
Pledging My Love
Many are my jokes to have you all in stitches
Vast is the treasure trove of all my riches.
But sweet my love ! I shall give them all up for thee
On the 31st day of February.
Hey Tude
My very dear Gertrude
I gave you all my lovitude
Gave you very wide latitude
But the face you pull is longitude
And you mouth these platitudes
You show zero gratitude
And now you give me attitude ?!
Now , don't you just wish you'd made a hasty exit right after those investment tips ?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Constant Craving

“Why must news channels be so jarringly loud all the time?” I said to my neighbor Charlie.

This after a news station promo had shot out like a shrieking banshee from my rickety TV set when I switched it on , causing equal damage to both ear and equanimity.

“Ah, it’s the constant craving”, said Charlie. “Constant craving for audiences on the part of the media and for excitement on the part of the audiences. Keeping it loud works well for both. .”

Charlie is so used to the Important-If-It’s-Loud scheme of things that he turns up the volume to max whenever there are no big news stories on. This apparently helps make believe that there are terrifically big news stories on. Charlie has relented at times only upon Mrs. Charlie taking exception and that only at the fear of a lost plate of roast beef. (In Charlie’s newspaper , that would be a headline tragedy of epic proportion. Those familiar will know that Charlie and hot dinner are no frosty strangers.)

“Now all this talk of sub-par news media ? I don’t buy that. On the contrary I think what we have at hand is very balanced news coverage. Take global warming. For three months they covered nothing else. And now all we hear about is how the half the world is all snowed in.”

He’s a strange one , my neighbor Charlie , apt to blow hot and cold about things from time to time but with a guy like that ,you sure don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

It’s towards loud.