INTERIOR The von Trapp mansion. The Nazi generals pay a visit to the Captain.
GENERAL 2 : “ We want you singing again. Herr Furher wants it.”
CAPTAIN (pleased) : “ Ah ! A fan is he ? Good ! He can visit my website for a chance to win an autographed picture.” (then remembers himself – continues a trifle wistfully) “ No , but my decision is final. No more singing , gentlemen”
GENERAL 3 : “ In that case Captain , please visit our offices for a chance to man our check posts 24/7 and hand out cards , chocolates and roses to everyone.”
CAPTAIN (wincing) : “ Chocolates ? And roses ? Er , what colour ?”
GENERAL 3 : “Red”
GENERAL 4 : “ And of course you will go through some rather thorny training before that”
Cracks his knuckles menacingly
CAPTAIN : “ Are you threatening me ? Remember I have served my country with distinction”
GENERAL 5 : “ Now please serve us some coffee with haste”
Act 9. Scene 2.
INTERIOR The von Trapp mansion. That same evening. The Captain and Maria confer
CAPTAIN : “Yes. Although my heart bleeds at the thought of leaving my dear homeland.”
MARIA (eyes a stain on his shirt) : “ Gosh ! is that blood ?”
CAPTAIN (sheepishly) : “ Er, no . Spot of coffee actually. They didn’t like what i had served . . .”
MARIA : “And socking it right back is obviously not your cup of tea”
Act 9. Scene 3.
INTERIOR The von Trapp mansion. Captain and Maria are with Max Detweiler ("Uncle Max" )
MAX: “ Finally ! How many scenes do I have ?”
CAPTAIN : “ One. Possibly two at most”
MAX : “ Can’t you make it three ?”
CAPTAIN : “ No way”
MARIA : “ Now look guys , can we cut to the chase please !
CAPTAIN : “ Let's not even have one. Relying on you,Max ”
MAX : “ No worries , old chap. I have a concert all lined up. After you perform and allay their fears , we keep them occupied with the rest of the show . That’s when you make a quick escape”
CAPTAIN : “ Oh good , I can sing again” (adds hastily) “ Only to fool the generals of course , dear”
MAX : “ So what song do you intend to perform ? ”
MARIA : “ I thought Climb Every Mountain perhaps…? ”
MAX : “ Hmm. Yeesss…. you’ll have to climb a few. Wear sensible shoes and stock up on food"