So we manfully face up to the googly , give the bullshit our all and desperately hope for the best.
The results can vary widely - as the following examples hope to demonstrate :
1. Spectacularly successful : rope-clearing , over- the -top bullshit driven off the front foot
You : Oh yes ! In fact , going further , I am reminded of Spinoza’s 13th Epoch thesis. You agree with the salient counterarguments of that thesis of course ?
The Other : Er , of course. How splendid to see so much sunshine at this time of year !
(Note hasty change of topic on the part of The Other to conceal total ignorance of Spinoza’s non-existent 13th Epoch thesis)
You : Certainly there’s much to be said for that. Oh, by the way, I don’t suppose you know that Mrs. Smith has filed for divorce after she discovered Mr. Smith in bed with his secretary ?
The Other : No ! Surely not !! I had no idea. Oh , do tell me more. Please do. Oh my !
(Note change of topic on your part is perfectly calculated to banish all considerations of Euthanasia , Panacea and the National Health Service from The Other’s mind )
2. Moderately successful : stonewalling with dead , straight- bat forward defence
The Other : Cubism expressed the zeitgeist of those times , didn’t it ?
You : Yes , it did express that.
The Other : Don’t you think Picasso’s Guernica was a prognosis of a more terrible war to come ?
You : Oh yes , my opinion exactly
The Other : Oh I’d be so glad to hear your views on that
You : Oh rather , those are views that I air very often.
The Other : And they are ?
You : Oh this and that and , not to put too fine a point on it , oh , ...just my views on the subject
The Other : I should be delighted to hear them.
You : Yes.
The Other : Oh do let us hear them !
You : Yes. Certainly.
(Note no runs scored but no wickets conceded either)
3. Unsuccessful : caught feebly fending at delivery
(Note : in the following two examples , you give it away and The Other , having cottoned on to your bluff , moves in for a swift final kill )
You : You don’t say ! Why, propane hadn’t even been discovered in ancient China let alone calibrated. Most remarkable indeed !
The Other : What then do you make of the malfeasance apparently manifest in Lao Tzu’s 6Th century Koans and how would you reconcile it with their inherently compassionate munificence ?
You : I think you’ll find that it’s probably because they didn’t have deodorants in those days.
The Other : Really ! Do you then suppose the evanescence of Van Gogh’s Night Sky was a sort of metaphysical tourniquet , as it were , that occluded the rather unrealistically ephemeral depiction style of the classicists ?
4. Spectacularly Unsuccessful : bowled all ends up clean through the gate
The Other : Don’t you believe that the fecundity of ideas in the 18th century was to fructify in the scientific juggernaut that swept in its wake the entire gamut of problems that had plagued mankind for generations , serving to meliorate life on the planet as a whole , and by an osmotic albeit screened process of assimilative diffusion influenced the course that the arts and the humanities were to - almost anachronistically - embark upon ?
You : Eh ?
The Other : Pray do carry on eating. I am so glad to see you use the fork with your left hand
(Note : The Other is pleased to believe that you are significantly less than an equal )